


forbidden

by bloodyinspiredglader



Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, F/F, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Nervous Alec, Other, Protective Magnus, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, alec and magnus are my babies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-05-31 19:57:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 3,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6485485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodyinspiredglader/pseuds/bloodyinspiredglader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec and Magnus live in a world where it's forbidden to fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

Where Alec Lightwood lives, it's either you work or you die. That's how things are these days. After the Apocalypse, the government implemented a series of laws. 

From age 6, you work. You must be to work before 6:00 am everyday. You must work for at least 10 hours each day. You get a 30 minute lunch break, then it's back to work. Bedtime is 9:00 pm, and if you're not in bed at 9:00 sharp, you are shot on sight. 

The people of Mill aren't exactly slaves. They have off days. Saturday is their off day, they can do whatever they want to. (Within the law of course). 

In Mill, you aren't allowed to fall in love. Love just distracts from your duties. Marriage is not allowed, but you can have kids with anyone you want to, they just have to be the opposite gender. Any and all homosexual activities are punishable by death. 

This is unfortunate for Alec, who's probably the gayest gay who has ever gayed.


	2. it was only just a dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if it isn't obvious already, the lyrics from the chapter title come from Just a Dream by Nelly

It all happened so fast. The rush of air. The soft voice that Alec couldn’t recognize. The pressure in his hand, as if someone was squeezing it. The pair of lips against his. His mom’s anger. The look of disbelief in his father’s eyes. There’s another furious voice- Hodge’s, Alec thought- and he couldn’t understand what the voice was saying. The grip on his hand is loosened, removed completely. A few seconds later, there’s a large BANG! and a scream ripped from Alec’s throat of it’s own accord. 

“Alec! Alec! Wake up!” His sister, Isabelle’s, voice breaks him out of the dream. Alec sits up, untangling himself from his blankets. “Thank god you’re awake. I was beginning to worry. You were tossing and turning.” 

“I’m fine.” Alec insists, standing up, the memory of the dream stuck in his head. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing when it became even messier. Isabelle chuckles.

“You better get ready. It’s almost 6. Don’t want you killed, now do we?” 

Alec comes downstairs to his mom’s stern look. “You’re cutting it closer everyday, young man.” Alec sighs internally. His mom is almost as bad as Hodge Starkweather, Mill’s ‘president’. At least, the guy calls himself president but ‘dictator’ would suit him a lot better. 

“Sorry, mom. Had a bad dream.” Alec sits down at the table and pops a muffin into his mouth. He’s just swallowed it when Hodge’s voice rings out over the city and the Lightwoods straighten up. “Everyone head to the town square for a meeting.” It’s short and sweet, but it works.

Once everyone’s been accounted for, Hodge steps up onto his podium. “As it was decreed years ago, work assignments will change on the 15th of every month.” Alec swears under his breath. He’d forgotten all about this. Certain jobs weren’t given out to certain people, everyone did everything. You aren’t given jobs that are ideal for your age or physical build. If you’re too weak for the job you’re given, you’re shot. Simple as that. “When I call your name, step forward and I shall give you your new job. Clary Fray.” A medium height redheaded girl that Alec doesn’t recognize steps forward, her hair flying behind her. “Simon Lewis.” Alec snickers at this. Last time he and Simon had a job together, Simon complained the entire time. “Raphael Santiago.” A short, brooding boy steps forward. “Alec Lightwood.” Alec starts slightly but makes his way to stand beside Raphael. “Magnus Bane.” Alec’s breath catches as the boy steps forward. Magnus’ body language shows confidence, and his steps are sure. He stands next to Alec, and Alec can’t help but look at him. Magnus also happens to be looking at him, too, and their eyes meet. Alec looks away quickly, aware of the blush spreading across his cheek. “You five. Your new job is checking the stocks.” At this, Alec lets out a silent cheer. Checking the stocks is the easiest. You could sit around and do absolutely nothing and get away with it.


	3. i'm a rebel even if it's trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics are from Jason Reeves' "Save My Heart" (which you need to listen, it's super Malec-y)
> 
> my apologies if i got any of the spanish wrong, i used google translate

“That was the easiest thing _ever_.” Alec stretches out on the sofa in the basement where the stocks are. 

“I thought these jobs were supposed to be hard. They’re really not.” Magnus agrees.

“They are. We just happened to get the easy job this time around.” Alec’s eyes are trained on Magnus, examining him. “I don’t recognize you. Are you new?” 

“Yep.” Magnus says, popping the ‘p’. “My parents sent me off somewhere to cure my homosexuality or whatever.” The way he says that, so nonchalantly, makes Alec trust him immediately.

“Don’t say that out loud! You’re gonna get yourself killed.” Simon’s eyes are wide.

“I don’t care, buddy.” 

Simon opens his mouth to say something, but casts his eyes downward instead of saying anything. “ _No te avergüences, mi amor_.” Raphael says, coming to stand by Simon. Simon lets out an exasperated sigh.

“English, motherfucker, do you speak it?”

“It means ‘do not be ashamed, my love’. I really need to teach you Spanish.”

 

There’s a long sigh before Clary perks up. “Did anyone else hear that?” 

“Yeah, I think. It sounds like a small animal.” Simon heads toward the sound. He pokes his head in a small corner and a ball of fluff vaults over his head, running straight into Magnus’ arms. 

“Woah, woah. Slow down, there, little guy. What are you?” Magnus lifts the creature, and Alec recognizes it automatically. 

“What’s a kitten doing down here?” The kitten lets out a plaintive meow, trying to wriggle out of Magnus’ grip. Magnus sets the kitten down, and it runs over to Alec and jumps into his lap. 

“Looks like you’ve been chosen.” Clary laughs. 

The kitten paws at Alec’s face, little mews sounding from it. Alec lifts the kitten up for a second. “It’s a boy.” He lowers the kitten to eye level. “What do I call you, huh?” Then Alec remembers where they are. “Church. I’ll call you Church.”

“Church? What kind of name is that?” Simon snorts out a laugh.

“ _Se bueno,_ Lewis.” At Simon’s sharp look, Raphael translates. “Be nice.” 

The bells ring, signaling lunch time for Group A. (The stock checkers, the builders, and the chefs.) Alec’s parents aren’t in the same Group - which he thanks his lucky stars for- so he can safely get Church back to his room without them asking any questions. “I’ll see you guys in half an hour.” Alec says, getting up and stuffing Church into his coat pocket and heading home.


	4. you'll never know if you don't ever try again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics are from Panic! at the Disco's "Hallelujah"

Alec brings Church to work again. Church isn’t sure whether or not he likes that. He pretty much just sits around and plays with a homemade ball of yarn Alec made for him.

“So, Magnus. Your parents kicked you out for being gay?” Alec questions.

“Nah. For being bi and dating a lot of boys.” Magnus clarifies, giving Alec a wink. 

“How did you know you were bi?” 

“I don’t know. I just knew, I guess. Although, my best friend did kiss me before I knew I was bi, and that kind of hinted at it. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just… I think I’m gay, but I’m not exactly allowed to explore my sexuality.”

"Have you ever been kissed? At all? By anyone?" 

Alec shakes his head, suddenly embarrassed, and looks down. There's a few second of delay before he hears footsteps and feels a warm hand under his chin, forcing him to look up and Magnus' eyes meet his. Before he knows what's happening, Magnus is leaning in and his lips are on Alec's. Alec has no idea what to do, so he lets Magnus take control. It's blissful, and he wishes he had experienced this sooner. He doesn't have much time to really appreciate it, as Magnus is already pulling back.

"There, you've been kissed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm probably rushing the malec but i'm bad at slow burn so???


	5. i try to picture me without you but i can't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some people came for the saphael, and i'm more than happy to deliver
> 
>  
> 
> lyrics from "Immortals" by Fall Out Boy

Simon can't believe his sheer dumb luck. He'd gotten Hodge "I hate everyone" Starkweather to let him and his boyfriend move in together. He supposes it's because the law is that if you're under age 21, you have to live with someone. When Raphael's parents died, that gave Simon an opening and he jumped in and took it. His parents didn't argue, they actually seemed to happy to get rid of him. Anyways, Simon moved in with Raphael. 

Raphael is thought to be "rich" and "stuck up". That couldn't be less true. (To Simon, at least.) Raphael is the best boyfriend Simon could've wished for. Well, Simon had always wished for a girlfriend, until he realized that he was bi after getting friendzoned by Clary so many times. Which, coincidently, made Clary realize she is lesbian. 

Simon thinks about all this as he's sprawled out on his and Raphael's bed, chuckling to himself. Raphael looks over at him. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing. Just remembering when I thought I was straight." 

" _mi amor_ , you're anything _but_ straight." Raphael rolls his eyes, pressing his lips to Simon's forehead. Simon can't help but turn red and buries his face in Raphael's shoulder. He's still so shy when Raphael is all sappy with him. He was so afraid of commitment, and for good reason. When Simon finally emerges from Raphael's shoulder, the gaze he receives is so full of love that he almost cries. 

"Have you ever wondered why Hodge put those rules against falling in love in place?" Simon muses.

"He probably had his heart broken. By a guy." Raphael adds, smirking.

"That's why he makes all homosexual activity punishable by death." Simon snorts out a laugh, then sobers up. "If we're found out, we're gonna be killed, Raph."

"I won't let those _hijos de puta_ tear us apart."

"Hijos.... de.. What? 

"Loosely translated to 'sons of bitches' or 'motherfuckers', whichever you prefer." 

Simon sighs and lets his head drop onto Raphael's chest, reaching out for his hand, and Raphael meets him halfway, intertwining their fingers. "Promise you'll never leave me? That you'll always be here?" 

Raphael plays with a strand of Simon's hair, rubbing his thumb across the back of Simon's hand. " _siempre_. _Te amo_." 

Simon smiles, he doesn't need a translation this time. " _Te amo_. 


	6. this is my oath to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> possible trigger warning for self harm!!! It's just mentioned, but i want to be on the same side.
> 
>  
> 
> lyrics are from "Oath" by Cher Lloyd

Today is Saturday. Alec's favorite day. 

Today, he's spending time with Magnus, Simon, Raphael, Clary, Isabelle, Church, and Chairman Meow (Magnus' cat). Well, more like he's being the seventh wheel while Simon and Raphael and Clary and Isabelle do couple-y things. Hell, even the _cats_ are doing something romantic.

Magnus plops down next to Alec. "Couples. Know what I mean?"

Alec sighs, rubbing his eyes. "Tell me about it. You know, I've pretty much given up on anyone falling in love with me." 

"Can't say I blame you. You'd be killed, after all." 

Alec shakes his head. "That's not it at all."

"Then what is it?" Magnus asks, tilting his head.

Alec hesitates. He's never told anyone the real reason for the scars on his wrist, and the lies he made up were surprisingly believable. No, not even his parents know. But for some stupid fucking reason, Alec decides he can trust Magnus. "It's a long, complicated story, so I'll sum it up as best as I can. A few years back, I dated a guy. His name was Paul. The relationship didn't last long, but I thought I was in love. Paul didn't feel the same." Alec takes a deep breath and continues, wiping away a tear. "Somehow, Hodge found out about Paul. And... he was executed. I was the reason he was killed, Magnus." He pulls back his sleeves. "I used to self harm. I was depressed." Alec tries a smile, pulling his sleeves back down. "But I'm over it now."

"Alec." Magnus lays his hand on Alec's arm. "It's not your fault." And then Magnus' lips are on Alec's, and Alec wants so badly to pull away, to not let the same mistakes get repeated again, but he can't.


	7. should have known right from the start you can't predict the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics are from "Memories" by Panic! at the Disco

Alec's dreams return, to his dismay. 

But this time, Magnus is there to hold him and let him know that everything's okay, they're gonna be okay, he's not leave him. 

Except when this dream is more vivid than the last. 

He, Magnus, Simon, Raphael, Clary, and Isabelle are all being dragged to the front of the crowd. Towards the execution circle. Tears are streaming down Simon's face, and Raphael has a death grip on his hand. Clary has her face in Izzy's shoulder, shaking with silent sobs. 

Then Hodge is at his damn podium. "Alexander Lightwood. Magnus Bane. Clarissa Fray. Isabelle Lightwood. Simon Lewis. Raphael Santiago. You have been convicted of knowingly participating in homosexual activities. If this is incorrect, please speak up." No one says anything, but Raphael looks at Hodge as if he'd wish to do great personal harm to him.

Someone is placed in front of the execution circle, and the dream ends with a _BANG!_

 

When Alec wakes up, Magnus has gathered him in his arms and is holding him as tight as humanly possible. All Alec is capable of doing is burying his face in Magnus' shoulder and just crying.


	8. if you can't tell, i'm scared as hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics are from "Lullaby" by Nickleback

It takes Alec a few weeks, but he eventually opens up to Magnus about his dreams.

"They're all the same. Except, each one gets more detailed. The endings are always the same. Just a gunshot. I never get to see who got shot." Alec looks at Magnus, his voice shaking. 

Magnus takes Alec's hands in his and intertwines their fingers. Alec gives a weak smile. "Often, dreams are representations of your worst fears. What you have to remember is- they're not real. No matter how real they may seem, they're not." Alec gives a small nod, leaning his forehead against their hands, which are still locked together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry this is so short.
> 
> my boyfriend and i got into a huge fight (we didn't break up) and it took a huge emotional toll on me. 
> 
> i might write some smut to make up for this chapter's suckiness? idk.


	9. escape from the city and follow the sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics are from "Ready to Run" by One Direction

If Alec is honest, he really, _truly_ doesn't want to sleep. He hates sleep. Sleep means dreams, and dreams mean nightmares. Nightmares mean that Alec's dreams may just come true. Okay, maybe not, but Alec sure doesn't think so.

"Have you ever considered running away?" Clary asks to no one in particular.

"Oh, trust me, only everyday." Alec snorts. "It's impossible. There's guards guarding every exit known to man. You cannot escape." 

"I can find a way." Clary promises.

"Good luck with that" is all Alec says in response.

A few months later, Clary does exactly what she promised. She finds a way to escape from Mill.

"Okay, so, here's the plan. Someone is gonna have to the distraction. They make a bunch of noise and yell about how gay they are, that sort of thing."

"Hold on. The distraction- they're risking their life here. They'll get executed if they're caught." Isabelle says, her voice quiet.

"I know. Whoever volunteers should know that risk. Anyways, while they're distracting Hodge and the guards, the rest of us crawl under the fence and just _run._ Simple? Okay, cool. So who wants to be the distraction?"

There's complete silence for a few moments. "I'll do it." Simon speaks up.

Raphael's eyes are full of sorrow, but he doesn't argue.

"Excellent. We put this plan into action in two weeks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hit me up at [my tumblr](paradiseweekes.tumblr.coml)


	10. one more taste of your lips just to bring me back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics are from "Love You Goodbye" by One Direction 
> 
>  
> 
> if this is shit, it's because i wrote this after not having slept for two days. that, and the fact that it's 4 am in the morning as I'm typing this.

Whenever Raphael tries to bring up Simon's sacrifice, Simon effectively manages to change the subject or assure Raphael that he'll be fine.

"You can't avoid me forever." Raphael eventually says, matter-of-factly.

"I hoped I could. Dammit." 

"Dios," Raphael mutters under his breath.

Simon rolls over onto his belly so he's eye-level with Raphael. "Do you want out of this hell hole or not?"

"I do, I really do. But I don't want out if you're not gonna be with me." swallowing his inhibitions, Raphael adds, "at least let me come with you. I can distract them with you."

Simon shakes his head, adamant. "No. That's not a choice, Raph. You know this." he shimmies up so he can fold himself into Raphael's side, tucking his head in the crook of his neck. Raphael's arms tighten around him, a little tighter than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just a filler for the upcoming chapter(s)


	11. i know you're hurting, but so am i

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics from "Stand by You" by Rachel Platten

"I guess it's too late to convince you to do this." Raphael sighs. 

"That would be correct. You should go and meet the others." Simon leans in and gives Raphael and quick kiss. "I love you. Hopefully I'll see you soon, yeah?"

"Hopefully." Raphael pulls Simon in for a lingering kiss, cupping his cheek. Simons pulls back after a few seconds, giving Raphael a smile. 

"Go."

 

Raphael meets Clary, Isabelle, Magnus, and Alec by the fence. "Is Simon ready?" Magnus asks.

"Yeah, he should start the distraction soon." Raphael confirms, a sad smile on his features. 

Alec lays on a hand on Raphael's shoulder. "He's gonna be just fine. He's a quick kid."

"I hope so." 

 

"HEY! I LOVE DICK!" Raphael hears, followed by the yells of Hodge and other government officials. 

"That's our queue. Let's get out of here." Clary starts climbing the fence.

Raphael is the last one to leave, as he keeps glancing back to see if Simon is coming. When he realizes that he's not, he quickly scales the fence, jumping onto the other side. "Wait." Raphael says, surveying the area before he spots a tree. "There. I'll just be a few minutes." He climbs the tree, spotting Simon as he climbs. Making himself comfortable, he watches the scene unfold under him. Simon is being dragged- no wait, he does some cool spin move and knocks out both of his assaulters, and _runs._ Simon makes it to the fence and scales it in 2 seconds flat. "Simon! Oh my god." Raphael jumps down from the tree and over to his boyfriend. _Idiota. Estaba preocupado casi hasta la muerte."_

"Couldn't leave you." is all Simon can get out before he loses consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idiota. Estaba preocupado casi hasta la muerte = you idiot. i was worried half to death


	12. savin' me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's with the 2k hits? you people are the greatest. thank you for stopping to read this shitty story! 
> 
>  
> 
> also, you'll notice i changed Jace/Himself to Jace/Sebastian. that's simply because I think Jace and Seb would make a good couple.

Simon drifts in and out of consciousness every couple of hours, not staying awake for more than 15 minutes. It worries Raphael.

The group is laying around, waiting for Simon to wake up when they hear footsteps. Raphael is the first one to scramble up and assume some kind of threatening stance. The newcomer puts his hands up, showing that he means no harm. "I come in peace."

Clary walks over to stand by Raphael's side, eyeing the newcomer. "Who are you?"

"Jace Wayland." He introduces himself, coming over to let the others get a view of him. Raphael sees Alec narrow his eyes in confusion, but he quickly shakes it off. "Are you guys from Mill?"

"Yeah."

"My boyfriend and I escaped from there about a year ago." 

Alec lets a cry. "Jace!"

"Alec?" Jace's eyes shoot to Alec, who tackles Jace in a hug.

"I'm assuming you two know each other?" The jealousy in Magnus' voice is obvious.

"We were best friends in Mill. Dude, we have so much catching up to do." 

"We sure do. Here, you can come and meet my boyfriend!"


	13. i'll tell you all about when i see you again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long!!!! haha wow i apologize. hope this is sufficient enough to make up for my absence!

Raphael carries Simon as he follows Jace to wherever they're going. He notices that Magnus is scowling at Jace and Alec, who are chatting amiably a few feet in front of them. He can't help but snicker as he hears Magnus muttering to himself. A few minutes later, Jace stops and holds up his hand, signaling for them to stop. He pulls out a small rectangular device that Raphael doesn't recognize. "What's that?" he whispers to Magnus.

"That, my dear friend, is a cell phone." Magnus replies.

"Oh! I've heard of those." Raphael exclaims, seemingly happy that he had understood.

After walking for a few more minutes, the gang stumbles upon a house. "Here we are." Jace says, continuing to walk. 

"Jace! Babe, you had me worried." A tall, blonde haired boy comes running out and wraps Jace up in a hug.

"I texted you!" Jace protests.

"You should've texted me when you left, not half an hour later."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you." Jace gives the boy a kiss before turning to the others. "This is Sebastian Morgenstern. I'm Jace Herondale." 

Alec steps up. "You know me. Alec Lightwood. This is Clary Fray, her girlfriend Isabelle Lightwood, who is also my sister, Simon Lewis, his boyfriend Raphael Santiago, and Magnus Bane." He introduces everybody, pointing at them as he said their names.

"Nice to meet you all. It's obvious you're tired, let's get you into some rooms. We've only got two spares, so two of you are going to be sleeping on the couch and on the floor."

"I'll sleep on the floor. Simon and Raphael need a room. And Clary and Izzy." Magnus immediately volunteers. 

Jace nods. "Sebastian, can you show them to their rooms?" 

"Of course." Sebastian gestures with his hand and walks into the house, the two couples following.

"I'll get you two set up." Jace says to Magnus and Alec, who go into the house. Alec passes out as soon as Jace sets everything up, absolutely exhausted.


End file.
